Perspective

Last night I was reading a friend's blog and came across her post about a separate blog about a little girl named Cora Paige.  I found this blog just after I had posted in our mom thread about what a nightmare dinner time is around here.  Let me back up.

For some reason between the hours of 5:00 and bedtime all hell breaks loose around here. I fondly refer to 5:30 as the "witching hour."  Sophie generally cries to be picked up by whoever is cooking.  It makes it extremely difficult to cook.  She doesn't stop and sometimes really goes into hysterics.  Tripp used to be as bad, but now that he is mobile (crawling, walking) he is better and will generally play by himself for a few minutes.  If dinner isn't on the table by 6:00 we are in trouble.  I am not joking!  

Dinner starts off like any other family dinner.  We put food on the plates, cut up kids food, let them eat.  No more than 5 minutes into dinner, Sophie starts getting out of her seat and wondering around.  Sometime she wants to feed Tripp, but usually she wants to run around like a crazy girl.  It takes a lot of patience to try and get her back in her seat and eating.  Eating is a different story.  She used to be good at it, but she's entered that toddler stage of always wanting one thing - like chicken nuggets.  Ugh.  Meanwhile, Tripp is eating his dinner like a good boy but is finishing up.  He's a pretty fast eater.  When he is done eating he starts throwing food to the ground and banging his head against the highchair.  I don't know if this is dangerous, but it sure seems like it is.  He thinks it's funny, but it scares the crap out of me.  So now we have Sophie crying/screaming because we are making her sit in her seat and Tripp banging his head on the highchair.  John and I haven't even started our food yet.  It's a nightmare.  I hate dinner time these days.  After dinner everyone returns to the angels they are.  It's really weird.

So back to the blog I mentioned above.  Here I am complaining about dinner time and then I read the blog.  My life is so good.  I have these two beautiful, healthy, amazing children who I love dearly - and who love me - and I have husband who is so helpful, so wonderful, that I really cannot put my feelings for him into words.  And then there are families out there dealing with the tragedy of losing a child.  It makes my "nightmare" dinner so trivial compared to the nightmare of burying a child.

I felt like such an idiot after I read that blog.  This sweet family of 3 were so happy - Mommy, daddy, and 9 month old baby Cora.  Cora was just a month younger than Tripp.  She was sick with her 3rd ear infection, which is not really uncommon, so they went to the drs.  They mentioned 2 other weird symptoms that they had recently noticed and left that appointment with the terrible and tragic news that their daughter had cancer.  I cannot even imagine.  Just thinking about this again is bringing me to tears.  Tears of sadness, anguish, disbelief.  How can a little 9 month old be diagnosed with stage 4 cancer?  This has got to be one of the worst fears of a parent.  

I read this blog just before bed last night and could not sleep.  To be honest, I cried uncontrollably and eventually cried myself to sleep.  I cried for the family, for the baby that lost her life so early, for me because I lost perspective on life, and for the thought of losing my children one day.  Being a mother is the best "job"  I have ever had, but it is also the hardest.  I am so thankful for so many things.  The blog put my life in perspective and made me remember how good I really have it.  I've learned that as a parent you are constantly walking a fine line - do you discipline this time or let it slide, do you bargain with this to get that, do you ignore this behavior so you can "pick your battles" and discipline a worse behavior later?  I just don't know.  

Last night at dinner all Sophie wanted was to sit on my lap and eat my food.  This is recurring - she always wants my food instead of hers (even if it's the same) and she doesn't want to sit in her seat.  She usually wants to eat then take a break and play then come back and eat ... this could go on for an hour if we let it ... or she simply ones to sit on daddy's lap.  Whatever it is, she doesn't want to sit in her chair and eat.  We really want her to sit and eat dinner.  We don't want to foster a bad habit by allowing her to get up and down at dinner.  So we put her back in her seat.  If she won't stay, we assume she's done and take the dinner away, unless she says otherwise and gets in her seat to eat.   That's how the "experts" say to handle this behavior.  However, now I wonder if I should just let her sit on mine or John's lap?  How many more years will this go on?  Probably not forever.  Is this issue really that big a deal?  She'll grow out of this stage I'm sure.  I think Cora's parents would say to me that I'm lucky to have a baby who can sit on my lap and to cherish this time even if it's not the behavior I want because I don't want to look back one day and wish she were here to sit on my lap.  You know?  I know I can't think like this every time Sophie does something we don't like, but I can put it all in perspective.  I'm blessed with the life I have and I need to remember that.  I need more patience and I need more perspective.  I certainly gained the latter from Cora's parents.  Even after the loss of Cora, they remain strong, thanking God for the short time they had Cora and for using her life positively - affecting people like me and families all over.  I know God works in mysterious ways, but it's so hard for me to understand how he works through a baby like this. I know this baby is with God and that's about all that makes me feel at peace with this.

So for now I'm going to remember to be thankful for all the time I have with my babies.  To give them even more kisses and hugs and tell them I love them even more than I already do.  I'm going to read that 12th book to Sophie when I put her to bed, even though I tell her only 3 or 4 books and after each one I keep saying only 1 more.  I'm going to nurse Tripp another few weeks because that is special bonding time for us.  I'm going to hope and pray that dinner time becomes less chaotic and try to deal with it with patience until that time happens.  I'm going to remember every day how wonderful my life is and that I have the two sweetest babies on this earth.  I will remember how blessed I am and I will continue to thank God for that.  And, to the sweet family who lost Cora, I will pray for you and for her.  I'm truly sorry for your loss.  You have reminded me how special life really is and that time with your children is the most important thing in life.  

Atlanta Botanical Gardens

I took a ton of pictures. Here are my favorites.

All of the pictures with the brick wall and water feature were taken in the courtyard where we had lunch. The kids really loved this area. There was the prettiest little rainbow that spanned the length of the water. Here is Tripp checking out the rainbow.

Justin and Sophie checking out the water. Notice the rainbow to the left of Justin.


I took this picture when Justin all of a sudden decided to plop down in the middle of the walkway because there was a rock in his shoe. I don't know why I thought this was so funny. I guess because every single person in our group stopped to watch what Justin was doing. Even Tripp was watching!

Cousins and best friends!

Such a sweet picture of Justin. He's normally moving or making faces while playing so it's rare to capture him just chilling.

Summer really loves the kids. She is always ready to help me with one or both of them. This particular day, she was all about Tripp and he loved it! I've never met an 11 year old girl who loves babies this much and truly wants to spend time caring for and playing with them.

All the kids - big and small - loved the slide! They could even see their reflection.

My sweet little man standing up. He is growing up so fast!

One of the many beautiful sculpture/ornamental objects in the garden.

Sophie loving on the girl statue.

Hanging out with Mr. Frog. I told Sophie I was taking this picture for Pop Pop and she actually sat still and smiled for some of the frames.

Tripp poking his head out of the cave (with help from Summer).

There was a really cool tree that was low to the ground with a ton of branches. Justin made good use of it and climbed up it.

Look who I caught being silly - a butterly and a dragonfly a/k/a Sophie and Daddy :-)

Um, I don't even know what to say about this picture. My sweet little angel, my handsome little man. I just love him!!

Sophie hitching a ride with mommy.

The 3 Muskateers!

I think I have the cutest kids on the planet.

Tripp crawling his way up to the top of the 3 story treehouse.

Sophie likes to feed Tripp. Here she is sharing her Goldfish with him. She's very sweet with him and she's starting to act like a little mommy.

Here is that fish/bug thing I mentioned in earlier post. Not sure exactly what it is, but it's cool. And if you look just beyond this sculpture, you'll see some of the buildings that are Downtown. Like I said, this is a little piece of heaven in the middle of a big city.

Tripp's turn to hitch a ride.

The family together at the end of a perfect day at the gardens.

Atlanta Botanical Gardens

Yesterday we took the kids to the Atlanta Botanical Gardens. I had been told by other mommies that there is a super cute little kid's garden tucked away on 2 acres separate from the big gardens. That these 2 acres afforded the kids a chance to run wild, play outside, and enjoy natural beauty. I have been wanting to take Sophie since she started walking, but could never round up anyone to go with me. The weatherman forecasted a beautiful weekend - a forecast that I decided was just perfect for a visit to the gardens. I finally asked and begged enough that John gave in and decided to go with me.

Since we were driving down to Atlanta and the gardens are half way between our house and Tara's, I asked her if she would like to join us. I knew that Sophie would just be overjoyed to see her Aunt TaTa and to run around like a maniac with Justin. With a little prodding and the promise that the garden wasn't going to be lame that she though, Tara also gave in and agreed to meet up. So we piled everyone in the car - me, John, Sophie & Tripp in ours and Tom, Tara, Justin and Summer in theirs - and headed to the Gardens. Of course, like usual, there were road closures and detours and a bunch of other annoying mishaps on 75, but after a long round-about way, we got to the gardens around 11:30. Weather was beautiful - sunny and 63. Good you even ask for a more beautiful day in February? I think not! And, it was our lucky day! Bank of America customers entered for free. Awesome! Great start to a perfect day.

The children's garden is just awesome! It wasn't in bloom - at all - but I didn't expect it to be. I can only imagine how beautiful it will be in spring; I am already planning our trip back. In fact, the kids loved the gardens so much, as did I, that I think we'll buy season tickets. Our first stop inside the gates was the potty. I must just insert here that I was very proud of Sophie. She poopied in the potty while we were there. She's really doing a great job with the potty training. So after the potty we ate (a very overpriced not so yummy meal). There was a little water feature that the kids hung around while we waited for food. I took some really great photos of them playing by the water. They had such a great time just running around the courtyard and playing by the water, I could just see their excitement bubbling over and they could barely stand still!

You have to cross over a little walkway to enter the children's garden. We were walking on the walkway when Justin decided to sit down and take his shoe off. Apparently a few little rocks had made their way into his shoe and he didn't like that. LOL. It was really cute. I took a picture of this, because he plopped down and everyone just stopped and watched him while he emptied his shoes. I don't know why, but it was just funny to me. When you enter the gardens, there is a beautiful "roof" of veins overhead. There are sunflower sprinkler heads wound through the vines. In the summer they have the sprinklers on and the kids can play in the water. It's cute. If you look just beyond this, you can see the tops of some of the hi rise buildings that are downtown. I thought that was pretty cool. This garden is a little piece of heaven in the middle of downtown Atlanta. If you follow the path, it winds and wraps like a little maze through various play areas. The first is a big fish (possibly a bug, not sure) that leads into a caterpillar looking thing that leads into a butterfly area. After butterflies you find an area with a small dinosaur and a sandbox where you can "dig" for artifacts. The kids loved this! There was a little slide built into a cave, which if I had to rate, would have been the highlight of the day for the kids. Other little areas included a house that was supposed to simulate where an American Indian might have lived. There was little benches where they hold story time (we will be attending those one day!) and frogs on benches throughout the park. There were a few little ponds that added a nice serene touch and finally a 3 story tree house.

The kids thoroughly enjoyed themselves. I cannot wait to go back when Tripp is walking. I am sure my little wild man will terrorize the gardens with the best of them. LOL While I do wish the gardens were in bloom, I could really have asked for a better day with the kids. They ran and played and laughed and yelled. The truly just got to enjoy being kids and enjoy being with their family. I absolutely loved yesterday. Sounds funny when I say it like that because I love every day with my kids, but I guess yesterday was just an extra special day with them.