Quote of the Day

Some people say that dreaming gets you nowhere in life. But I say you can't get anywhere in life without dreaming.

-- Rose Zadra

Quote of the Day

Do not be too timid and squeamish about your actions. All life is an
experiment.

-- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Sophie's Surgery

Tomorrow is the first day that either of my babies has to undergo surgery. Wow. I'm a little overwhelmed. I've never had to have surgery, so why my baby? I haven't thought about it until today. That's probably a defense mechanism. Right? In the pit of my stomach is ... I don't know ... a knot?

Sigh. I'm not looking forward to tomorrow. Not one bit. I'm second guessing all the decisions I've made up until now. I know that this is a "standard" surgery, but that doesn't help my mind, my heart, anything. Should I have done the sleep study instead? Should the tubes go in? Should the tonsils come out? I wonder if I should have put this off one more month until Spring (and all the flowering plants that go along with Spring) are gone. Maybe Sophie failed her hearing test because of pollen? Could be, right? What if she snores like a 400 lb man because she's allergic to our dog? I dunno. That seems silly since the snoring is somewhat new and we've had our dogs forever. Still. Should I have done allergy testing? That's something I did not think about. Deep breath. Stop second guessing.

So tomorrow ... we have to wake sweet Sophie at 5:15 am. She has to be at the surgical center at 6:30 am. Surgery is at 8 am. It's only supposed to be 30 mins. I wonder if in that 30 mins I'll panic like never before, or I'll hold it together. I wonder if I'll be strong enough to go back to the surgery room with her while they put her to sleep. I've been warned that watching your child be "put to sleep" is overwhelming and knee-weakening. I hope I can stand up, stay strong, and hold Sophie's hand during this. I have a feeling John will have to step in. Just a little worried right now with the thought of Sophie being "put to sleep" and "going under the knife."

In preparation for tomorrow, I've been telling Sophie about her surgery, about the potential pain, about the hospital, and about the food she'll be able to eat for more than a week. I threw the food in because it's popsicles, jello, pudding, applesauce, etc. and I totally thought she'd be into that part of the process. I thought that might ease her mind. She seems fine with all this. Erin, a very good friend and the mommy of my Godson, told me to dress Sophie in pjs so she'd be comfortable. She knows all about this because Jeffery had tubes and then this surgery so basically he's been under twice. I took Sophie to Target the other day and let her pick out pjs. Of course she picked out cupcake pjs. They are cute and green and her good luck pjs. In fact, I washed them and I just heard the dryer go off. Time for me to get her stuff ready for tomorrow.

I let Sophie sleep in our bed tonight. Wait, I always let her when she walks in the room in the middle of the night. But, tonight, the difference is I put her to sleep in our bed. Love that baby!! Please say a prayer for her ... and me! We need it.

Tripp at 2 Years Old

My little man is turning into a big boy! He is officially 2 now. And, no joke, he has matured and chilled out in just a few short weeks. He is the sweetest little thing. A momma's boy for sure. I'm really happy about that. I could say that every day and still get the same big smile across my face just at the thought that my little man loves me so much. Ugh, I just love my little guy so much!!

I can't even believe a month has gone by since Tripp's birthday and I have not posted an update. Slacker for real. John took Tripp to his 2 year WBV. Those are my most favorite doctors appointments (if there is such a thing). I look forward to hearing how much they've grown and where they are in the percentiles compared to others their age. I couldn't go to this appointment because the day before his appointment I had to take Sophie to the ENT. So daddy took Tripp. Daddy said that the dr. said that Tripp is growing just as he should, is a big boy, and all around looked good. Nice to know!

Tripp is talking up a storm now and really enjoys telling us what everything little thing is. He has been talking pretty well since about 18 months, definitely earlier than Sophie. He is trying to talk in sentences now. They may only consist of 2 or 3 words, but he is really linking vocabulary to meaning. Just today he told me "mommy 2 balls here." There were, in fact, 2 balls! I thought well cool he knows what "2" means. Cool!! He also counted to 3 today. That was neat! Cutest thing he does is sing. He has been doing this for a while with Twinkle Twinkle Little Star. I did video this so I have to try and find it and post it. When he couldn't say many words he would try and hum the song and then the part that goes "Up above the world so high" he would say "up-a up-a up-a high!!" So adorable. He also really loves to say "poopy". What is it with kids and these words? He literally cannot breathe he is laughing so hard when he says "poopy" ... it's actually really funny. I'm laughing as I think about it.

Personality - Sweet, happy, curious, active, silly, smart, continues to be, and I'm scared that he will forever stay, fearless

Height: 37.5 inches, 98%
Weight: 28lbs 11 oz (56%) all muscle baby!
Head: 19", 36% Very excited about this because he did have a little tiny head there for a while. Sorry baby, but you did!
Size: Can still wear some 18 - 24 month pants, but pretty much in 2T these days. Shirts and shorts.
Shoes: Size 7
Diaper: Size 5
Teeth: Has all the teeth he should have at this stage. Teething was pretty eventful. One day he opened his mouth and he had all his teeth! He did go through a pretty bad biting stage at school. Could have been somewhat related to teething.

Interesting Facts:
1. Still poops 2 or 3 times a day. When does this stop? lol
2. Loves to sing.
3. Absolutely is infatuated with Barney. He used to call him "Bon Bon" and that was adorable. When I sing him the Barney song, he chimes in and sings with me and even gives me the hugs and kisses on que. I'll take that, even if Barney is annoying!! Also likes Yo Gabba Gabba.
4. Loves balls and anything sport related. Right now tennis seems to be what he is most interested in, but that's probably b/c John and I are always playing. I think he'll definitely be into sports. Which one is the question!
5. Isn't as good of an eater as he was. Does love fruit. I think if I could just feed him that all day, he'd be happy. He actually eats strawberries now, but bananas remain his favorite. Well, bananas and grapes. He eats eggs!! Woohoo!!
6. Wants to be outside at all times.
7. Likes trains and cars and really loves when we go by a construction site. He starts yelling "mommy daddy" and then grunts. And, wow, he gets extremely excited if the construction vehicles are actually moving and working. Whoa, you can't imagine the excitement on his face. I did try and video this. I must try again!
8. Loves the dogs and Sassy. He is starting to try and terrorize them.
9. Great sleeper!! Goes to bed at 7:30 and wakes up at 7:30. I can only remember 1 time in the last 12 - 18 months that Tripp actually woke up in the middle of the night crying. What a joy! He does move all over his crib and still likes to sleep with his booty in the air.
10. Has climbed out of his crib, but only when Sophie climbs in it in the morning to wake him up. We are still sleeping when all of this is happening! Sometimes I wake up and she has all his books in the crib and she's in there with him reading to him. It's very sweet. It's not so sweet that she taught him to climb out of the crib. The curious thing is he hasn't tried to climb out any other time.
11. Kinda hates the car seat again. That's fun.
12. Still hates hates hates having his teeth brushed. Also isn't the biggest fan of the dentist, but is a lot nicer to the dentist than he is to us when it comes to brushing his teeth.
13. Likes to dump his drinks on the floor. We wisened up and stopped giving him cups and went back to sippies. But now he just dumps things out of his caprisun's and juice boxes.
14. Loves the dog food. When I say loves, I mean he loves eating it and playing with it. Nice. lol
15. Oh!! How can I forget a huge one? He is potty training. We aren't really doing it that much, but he does peepee on the potty quite often. He has poopied on it twice, I think. They are training him at school and have been letting him try to go on the potty for a few months. He goes pretty much all day, but still has incidents in between so he wears pull-ups. We probably should get serious about potty training.

If there is anything else I can think of, I'll come back and update. Here is Tripp on his 2nd birthday trying out his new big boy bike.

Quote of the Day

If success is not on your own terms - if it looks good to the world but does not feel good in your own heart - it is no success at all.

-- Anna Quindlen

Sophie's Surgery

It's NOT today. It has been brought to my attention that I did not change the date of the surgery that I originally posted. The surgery will be Monday, April 5. The day after Easter.

Holly - thanks for asking about Sophie and checking on us :-)

Quote of the Day

To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best day and night to make you like everyone else means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight - but never stop fighting!

-- e.e. cummings

Photo Shoot

We met with our wonderful photographer last Sunday, March 7, to have Tripp's 2 year pictures taken. We met at the same house where we had Sophie's 2 year pictures taken. If you saw those pictures, you will surely remember the house. Sophie wore a pink tutu and pink cowboy boots and those were some of the most amazing pictures I have ever seen of her or any sweet little girl for that matter (am I biased? lol).

This was Tripp's turn to shine. I just knew Tricia would capture some amazing pictures, after all Tripp is such a fun-loving, giggly, handsome boy. Tricia did the best she could with a cranky, I'm-not-having-this-picture-taking-thing Tripp. The pictures did turn out wonderfully, I just wish that Tripp wasn't giving the evil eye in so many of them. Luckily, most people can't tell that is what he's doing. I guess I can tell because I'm his mom and we know these things. Plus, I was there and saw him crying and avoiding the camera at all cost. He wouldn't even laugh for the word "poopy" which is crazy since when he hears it or says that word he almost instantaneously laughs - big belly laughs - for at least 10 minutes.

Here is a teaser picture that Tricia uploaded to her blog

Tonsillectomy, Adenoidectomy, & BMT

That is what sweet little Sophie is going to have done March 23. Poor baby.

We had our appointment with the ENT today. Sophie was less than cooperative, but that's another nightmare - I mean - story. The dr. listened to what I had to say about the snoring and my description of her breathing. Then he asked a ton of questions about hearing loss in my family. He examined her ears, throat, and then felt her glands. Then he sent us for a hearing test.

From here on out, don't quote me. I was trying my best to pay attention and listen to the dr. but Sophie was not making it easy. Sophie had a lot of fluid in both ears, the left was most concerning (I think). He said that she didn't have an infection in the ears so antibiotics were not needed, but there was a lot of fluid just hanging around in there that hasn't drained. He explained to me that what happens is if the fluid from the previous ear infection doesn't drain it builds up and when a new bacteria, virus, etc. enters the body it can infect the fluid in the ears and wa-la a new ear infection occurs. The cycle is on repeat if the ears don't drain. As a result of so much fluid, Sophie actually failed her hearing test in both ears. Apparently the left ear was so bad she really couldn't hear anything. Her right ear came close to passing, but close isn't enough and she failed in that ear too. I was shocked to hear this. I can whisper the word "candy" in my bedroom and she'll come zooming downt he stairs in a matter of seconds asking where the candy is. No lie! lol I felt horrible that she failed that test, I can't imagine going around on a daily basis with muffled hearing and not realizing the difference or realizing that could be fixed. I ask her and she never says anything about her ears hurting or that she can't hear. This made me very sad.

In Sophie's case, the infections can occur even faster because of her tonsils and adenoids. Sophie's tonsils are very large at 3.5 on scale of 1 - 5 with 5 being the worst. It's very likely that her adenoids are just as large if not larger and when they get infected the infection pushes up through the ear canal into the ears and an ear infection occurs. The size of her tonsils and adenoids are directly related to her poor sleeping, snoring, and possibly her recent attitude that needs to get changed -- yet again another story, sorry.

Dr. Hermann believes that Sophie has sleep apnea as a result of her tonsils and adenoids being so large. He asked me to explain the snoring and breathing patterns. Sophie's snoring can only be explained as sounding like a 300 lb man in a super deep sleep. I'm not kidding nor am I exaggerating. You can ask anyone who has witnessed her sleeping. One time we were at Tara's and Billy, a friend of the family and probably 40 years old, decided to go to bed early and fell asleep on the couch. Sophie and Justin were playing in the family room, but decided they were going to sleep too. Sophie hopped on the couch and Justin slept on the floor. Billy said he heard snoring and couldn't figure out who it was and then realized that sound was coming out of a 32 lb 3 year old little girl. He was astonished. Seriously! He tells the story and I can't stop laughing because it's so funny!! I think he had to find a room to sleep in because she was keeping him up! Anyway, while she is sleeping she does this weird breathing thing where she sounds like she is trying to catch her breath. Like she is trying to breathe through her nose but can't because it's too congested so she pauses and starts breathing through her mouth. I think that is sleep apnea. I have to do some more research on the specifics of sleep apnea, but from what I have previously read I know it can cause the child not to get enough deep REM sleep.

Dr. Hermann actually confirmed this and pretty much said that Sophie probably isn't getting enough of the right kind of sleep, which would cause her to be restless and irritable (she's not listening at school - but maybe she can't hear!), cranky, tired, and unable to focus later in the day. That sucks. I feel so sorry for Sophie. I'm just so glad I finally brought her in. Who knew that snoring could be an underlying problem for so many things?

Dr. Hermann gave us 3 options:

1. Try a nose spray like flonase. This has a success rate of 10% - 15%. I think it can help with the flaring up in the nose/throat, etc and help the passage way open so she can breathe better.

2. In conjunction with #1, we would move on to a sleep trial where they would watch Sophie sleep, record her apnea, and then move on from there. I failed to ask what the treatment for this is if we don't do #3. I think the answer is if the apnea is bad enough we would move to #3 anyway.

3. Tonsillectomy and Adenoidectomy - This is what you do when #2 and #3 don't work. Success rate is 90%. There are some side effects to the surgery - sore throat, bleeding, and sinus infection. But the apnea would mostly likely be cured and breathing would regulate. This should help with bacteria in the throat and the adenoids and would lessen infection in the ears. However, #4 may also be needed.

4. BMT (or ear tubes). I told the dr. Sophie had 4 - 5 ear infections in 6 months. She never really had them before, this year was the first year of repeated ear infections. I hope I didn't have the number wrong. I'm now thinking it might have been 3. It's confusing because every time she had one, Tripp got one, then she got hers back, repeat. So she may not have had as many as I first thought. Four or five could have included some of Tripp's infections. I've called our pediatrician to verify. But, regardless, she has so much fluid in her ear that it's causing hearing loss so Dr. Hermann said it would probably be best to do the tubes while he was doing everything else so as not to have to do another surgery. He did say that if the fluid drained before her surgery, he would rethink placing the tubes.

Based on the severity of her sleep issues, the size of her tonsils and adenoids, and the less than stellar % of the other two options working, we've decided to go with options #3 and #4. I'm worried, like any mom would be with anestesia involved, but I'm sure she'll do fine. Recovery doesn't sound fun except, of course, for all the popsicles that she'll get to eat. I'm sure we'll manage and I have a feeling Sophie will get pampered by her Aunt Tara. Aw, my sweet baby girl is going to have surgery. That's crazy to me because I've never even had surgery! Wish her luck and say prayers that all goes well on the 23rd.

Quote of the Day

We do not remember days… we remember moments.

- Cesare Pavese