Cherish Every Moment

A friend of mine posted a link on Facebook the other day about a little girl named Layla Grace. She was asking for prayers for Layla Grace and her family. I followed the link and started to read the blog. I realized as I was reading that the little girl, baby really, was dying as I was reading. My heart ached as I read her blog. It still aches today, because I was right, she passed away the morning I read her blog.

Life can be unfair, we all know that. But cancer in a 16 month old baby? How is that fair? How can that happen? This sweet little girl just turned two in November and lost her battle with cancer yesterday. I spent the majority of yesterday crying for her and her family. Thinking of my own Aunt and Uncle and cousins who lost a child and brother to a rare form of Leukemia when he was just a young boy. I tried to put myself in Layla Grace's mom's place, but my mind would not let me go there. It would not let me imagine what it would be like to lose Sophie or Tripp. I'm thankful for that, I don't want to imagine it. I pray that her family can find solace in faith and God and the memory of their precious daughter. I pray they can continue to live some sort of normal life. I always pray that Layla Grace's two sisters can adjust to life without their precious baby sister. I don't know how the family will move on. The only way I can see is that they believe Layla Grace is in a better play with Him and that they have felt an enormous outpouring of love and support from people, most they don't even know.

Tonight when I was putting Tripp to bed, I rocked him for literally 15 minutes. That may not sound like a long time, but it is. Tripp likes to have his books read to him, rock for a few seconds, and then wants to go to his crib. That's the way he likes bed time to work. He even points to his bed when he's ready to lay down. He must have known I needed the extra time with him tonight. He allowed me to rock him, he cuddled up into my neck and under my chin, and fell asleep. My sweet baby gave me extra cuddles tonight when I needed it. He even sat on the couch and watch a little tv with me tonight which is a rare, rare thing for him to do. And Sophie, my girl. She came in to Tripp's room while I was rocking him and asked me to put her to bed tonight. It's not unusual for her to want me to put her to bed, but to actually come in to Tripp's room, ask me if she could wait to go to sleep until I could put her to bed is out of the norm. I was happy to hear she wanted me and of course I put her to bed. Daddy started her bed time by reading books. When I was finished with Tripp I went to her room and sang songs, more than normal, told her several stories and rocked her for a long time. I told her I loved her and that I am so thankful she is my daughter.

I should do all that more often. We all should. I say this to myself and time passes and life gets busy and I start the awful thinking that I wish the kids would behave or I wish they'd take a nap or sometimes I think I wish they'd go to bed a little earlier because I just need a break or I'm tired. Selfish is an understatement for those feelings. I feel guilty for feeling that way, but I realize it's just part of being a mom, we all have our limits, and we never say those things in vein. The best moms feel that way at times. Well I've decided that's not fair. I'm going to do my best not to get caught up in being tired. I'm going to remember how lucky I am to have my children in my life, to have them healthy, and to have them at this stage where they want my full attention. It won't last forever and I'll probably find myself back in here sooner rather than later wishing my babies wanted my attention. I'm going to remember to cherish every moment I have with my babies. They are my life. I can't imagine it without them and I pray daily that I never have to.

I'll continue to pray for Layla Grace and that God help heal her parents and sisters and the rest of those lives she touched. If anybody reading this would like to read her blog, you can find it at Layla Grace